Dude, Learn how to type!

I had to go to the courthouse today to pay a ticket. The courthouse is one of those places I hate going because I know what my experience there is going to be like. Slow workers with no customer service. Long lines. Other annoyed people who have to pay their tickets. The situation was made worse for me when I told the Courthouse Employee that I didn't have the ticket with me that I wanted to pay. She was totally put out. She sits down at her little computer and starts typing in "Bridget is an asshole" with one finger. You guys, this lady even did the thing when you're typing with one finger and you can't find the key you need so you kind of wiggle your finger around in a circular motion hoping maybe your finger will automatically just land on the right key. I stood there for minutes waiting for this woman to look up my ticket. The Blue and Green Marble were being calm and obedient in the beginning but as soon as a grumpy old woman walked into the office, they started acting out Go Diego Go in the most insane fashion. Grumpy old woman has obviously never seen Go Diego Go so what they were doing to her wasn't cute. It was annoying.

Minutes passed and the woman is still, with one index finger, plugging away at the keyboard. It was then i realized why they had five inch bullet proof glass separating me from her because had I had a gun, I would have shot her index finger off and been like, "And what?" After about fifteen minutes of waiting, she returns to the window to tell me that the ticket was $112.00. Fine. Here's my credit card, ring it up so I can take Diego and Baby Jaguar and get the fuck out of here. She started laughing as I slid my card through the bullet proof glass opening. OH and might I just add that I was in a safe city courthouse, out in the boonies, surrounded by corn fields and horses. What's with the bullet proof glass? I mean I could see if I was in Hamtramck, but who drives around Hamtramck? Anyway, she actually didn't laugh she started snickering when I pushed my card through the opening. Then she shakes her head and says, "You're going to need to go out these doors, down to the front of the courthouse and use the ATM machine if you want to use *this* method of payment." Huh? Why do you have like fifteen signs with VISA and MASTERCARD logo's on them posted all around this little waiting room??? Oh they take Visa or Mastercard if you're an ass and what to pay the additional $18 fee the court assesses when you pay via credit card. LAME. So I grab Diego and Baby Jaguar and we make our way to find the ATM machine. This courthouse isn't big so it was just a matter of walking down a hallway and out into the front of the building. There is one door to use to enter and exit the courthouse. That means, if you're lucky someone might hold the door for you. I was lucky and an older woman held the door for me as I walked out but Diego and Baby Jaguar were lagging behind. "Come on Ladies!" because I call them 'ladies' when I address them all at once. I must have said it with some frustration in my voice because the old lady says to me, "Count to ten, Mom!" Fuck you! I can hold the door my god damn self and don't tell me to count to ten! You try dealing with an Animal Rescuer and his little Jaguar sidekick!

I get the money from the ATM and was pleasantly surprised to see I was only charged a $1.50 fee for it not being my bank ATM. Things are looking up for me, aren't they? yeah, right! After a quick trip to the bathroom since Baby Jaguar is doing so well with potty training again, we make our way back to the court office to finally pay my ticket. "Can I help you?" the shitty typer asks me. Can she help me? I was just in there five minutes ago when she told me I had to leave and go to the atm located down the hall and outside the courthouse. What did she think I was doing back there? Of course she could help me!!!!! God, Annoying! I ended up paying for the ticket with five twenties, one ten and eight quarters!!! That totally pissed her off!!! Then it took her another ten minutes to relook up my ticket to give me a receipt! When I get cashiers or restaurant workers that are assholes, I purposely pay with my change just to make them have to stand there and count it! But what really bothers me is when they don't count it and they just throw it in their drawer and then my devilish scheme blew up right before my eyes.

I was happy to leave the courthouse today and my experience there solidified my belief that courthouses, secretary of state offices, some banks, post offices are not child friendly and need to administer a test to their employees for typing!